good bye childhood

Good-bye Innocents.

My childhood was anything but normal. When I was growing up I had to deal with fighting parents, unpaid bills, and two brothers who are were exact opposite of me. I had to deal with bullies, and I had to face my inner demons. When I first realized I was not a child anymore was in fourth grade. Fourth grade was when my parents had their first big fight. My parents were planning on getting a divorced. Our house became a battlefield that I wanted to escape. In fourth grade my parents were acting more like kids than grown ups. The only thing I could count on was them paying the bill. Fourth grade was when I realized what the world actually was, a war zone. I saw how everyone was trying to get ahead of everyone else in life, I also saw how there was more pain than love in the world. For a fourth grader it was just a lot to see. Some nights I would go to bed hungry because I would give my two brothers my portion of the food because they were still hungry. On other nights I would just lay in my bed and listen to my parents fight. I can remember wondering how two people who loved each other so much could say such hateful words to one another. With all of this I was also facing my inner demons. I thought somehow if I did not exist then they would love each other again. I thought they were fighting because they were having money issues and if they had one last child they could finally have the life they wanted. Fourth grade is seen as the last year you have complete freedom, and no responsibilities and yet, I had plenty.